Sunday, 27 January 2013

A Question for the Bald People in the Audience


Call it genetics, call it the shite in our environment, xenoestrogens in the plastic or whatever yous have. Call it low testosterone, or call it getting a big fucken HAW HAW Nelson Muntz in relation to life, the effervescence of youth yielding to an ugly bald twat. Baldness seems to play around with a man (the fact that the industry is worth 1 Billion or so is surely tantamount to that) and his brain, not to mention fucken Larry David seems to have built a bloody career on it hasn't he? Shiny eggy head. Hmm.

I know one wee fella who lost the hair when he was 16. Musta been rough, especially when you're the fucken epitome of dat George Costanza fiend and all the lassies won't even finger your ear for some hard earned cash. Nay gonna be the comely cunt any more, but the question is, would yous want to?

A couple of days ago, I went to get a haircut, the usual stuff, and fellas, I musta got a fucken barber with fucken Parkinsons. because about five minutes later, I'm left with a basterdized 70's afro of a thing. This dastard, this cur, apologized and asked what is it that I wanted to do, because if I was to leave the man's humble premises, I would end up in a police car on the way back to fucken Cavan, or some other mickey mouse county. On the fritz, I turn to him and say, gimme the full fucking blade zero. Bzz. Bzz. And that razor, I want it for free.

So, for the past while, Franco has been a member of the bald brotherhood.

What is it like being a member of such a highly regarded establishment? Well, it certainly left some people completely and utterly flummoxed, parents, mates etc, which was both entertaining and funny. You look like a punk! You look like a bumboy! But also, all these strange things have happened to me in the time that has passed. People definitely look at you different when you're a full baldie. For example, people seem to be quite intimidated by me. Men have been nodding to me in the street, stepping out of my way more and keeping less eye contact, maybe it's cause the old maw has been really accentuated by the lack of hair on top, I dunno, but it be a really cool feeling awright. Lassies, yous know yourself lads, how they are with the whole fake, breathless, "omg like you totally didn't do that to yourself, why would you make yourself ugly Francis???" but saying this...playfully roysh. I've been told I look like as serial killer, and fucking Ming the Merciless. Jaesus. What's also weird is that with hair, I was able to get away with being a little bit of an asshole play, now lassies are more offended by it, people seem to take me more seriously, and I have toos play myself WAY FUCKEN down, be a little bit nicer, so too speak. Again, I don't know if I look more dominant, or it's because I look about ten years older now, and people in their twenties aren't taken seriously by Boomer twats, or just people in general, and again, I appreciate that this post is fairly unrecked, and when a man ages, it sucks arse, but any thoughts would be welcome. My question to people who are bald in general...

Is it really that bad? I'm seriously considering shaving my head blade 0 for the rest of my life, and I can grow a fucken mean rockstar long hair Robbo Plant set if ah wanna. Now, admittedly, I look and sound a lot more like this guy in real life:


than this guy:

so it not be like bald is good en aw univocally.

There's also the practical, you save a shitload of cash thing of course if you just buy a razor and do that, say once or twice a week. Not to mention if we look at the options a bit more, they dinnae look too hot. Propecia? Causes the old dick to fall off apparently. Rogaine? Lol. Toupee? Seriously, you fucking kidding? You'll look like this:

That is either snatch hair, or a bit of carpet Davie boy found in his home and then glued to his head.

Hair transplant? Works brilliantly from what I've seen, and the only reasonable enough option, but a simple question will put this in the bud.

You have the money? If it is fucking up your confidence/inner game, then yeah, all the power to you bro. Just that, well...there's a lot of Jameson's whiskey you can buy with that kind of dosh.

So yeah, if you can rocket it, then go for it. Just don't be fat. Bald and small guys, take a look at dannyfrom504. He's 40 and he's doing better than most of you and me right now. Or people in your own social circle. Bald and small is ok. Just not fat. Jesus, you don't want the Homer Simpson look going on.

Give it a shot, give it a trial, is my recommendation tos you. Hey, you or I might be a baldie someday not by choice, so yous might have to rocket this kind of thing in the future anyways. Until then:

Bald brothers! Unite!

 

7 comments:

  1. Personally, I love the bald look. My husband is bald with a really nice, thick red goatee. He shaves it every other day and never wants hair again. Now, when the goatee gets a bit long, he intimidates some people. Again, I like it. But some people get a bit nervous. It's probably why I like it so well. ;)

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    1. I think one of the reason a bald look like that can work, is that a lassie's perspective of looks is more tied in with masculinity, or being a masculine man. So whereas you might be that bit uglier, a shaved, blade 0 does the job quite well in that regard.

      I've heard a good few lassies say that, and even though the manosphere is all about what women do, not what they say, I certainly know lads who have made it work for them, example the 16 year old lad I was talking about above.

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  2. wow. thanks dude. i appreciate the linkage. but tbh, i know some overweight bald dudes that pull like champs. it NEVER about looks, it's all balls, and attitude.

    looking at me, i'm about as intimidating as a pillowcase full of wet kittens. but i WILL swing if i need to. i digress.

    i've had women i don't know walk up to me and start rubbing my bald head. lol, and i readily admit, i'm the exact opposite of "tall dark, and handsome". but have had MANY women comment on how much they LOVE the bald look.

    stay up brudduh.

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    1. That's actually pretty awesome man. It can be a big confidence suck for guys (again, people who are actually going bald can say otherwise), but it really doesn't have to be.

      Lol, I just had that lassie rubbing your head thing when I was out and about yesterday and it was a pretty cool feeling to be honest. I think I'm going to stick with it for the time being. I'm really enjoying it.

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  3. I'm 35 and I started losing my hair when I was around 22. I have a natural widow's peak hairline (before I even lost a single hair), and a patch of light reddish hair on one side of my hairline (the rest is brown), so I already looked kinda balding in harsh lights even before it was a "problem."

    I made peace with it in my 20's, and I'm good looking overall, and medium-tall height, so it's not crippling for me anyway. In a weird way it was a bit of an advantage, because very early in life, before I felt any effects of aging, I came to peace with the idea that I wouldn't always look 19. Once it starts to happen, you realize it's really not that big a deal. Own it, don't let it own you.

    Also, my balding really slowed down... I got thin up top rapidly, and thought I would be Captain Picard by age 35. But for some reason it just kinda slowed and almost stopped. So that's good, too.

    That said, my manosphere pill (taken about 4 years ago) has prompted me to get more serious about taking care of my appearance. Mainly, this means lifting heavy, and I have a better body than about 95% of the men I see around me (though I feel I still have a long way to go to get where I want to be). Also, I dress relatively well.

    Recently, I decided it was time to stop bullshitting myself about my balding, and looked into fixing it. I already wear it very short and neat, which helps a lot (nothing worse than men in denial who try to wear medium or long hair with a big thin patch up top). After some research, I decided to go with a one-two Rogaine-Propecia punch, because that has the best clinical results and it's really not expensive at all if you know where to hunt for the stuff online.

    I used to think "Rogaine lol" like you say here. But why? Only because I somehow thought Rogaine was silly... I think maybe the old commercials for it from when I was a kid were so corny and pathetic. But actually it works. It only works mildly, but it works. And Propecia doesn't make your dick fall off. It has been shown to mess with your serum testosterone slightly. But thanks to lifting heavy, eating paleo, taking cold showers daily and generally not being a pussy, my testosterone is MUCH higher overall than it was 4 years ago. If I have to sacrifice 10% of that to have a nice hairline again, so be it. I'll just lift that much harder.

    The other day, I mentioned I was a consultant to someone within my industry. He said, "Bullshit, you are way too young to be a consultant. What could you know?" I asked how old he thought I was. He said 24.

    Balding is like anything else. Like you say, it could be a confidence suck, but it doesn't have to be. In a weird way, it's the same with getting in shape. At 35, I am not the natural athlete I was when I was 18, but I also am way smarter and have read way more and have way more experience. I'm better at being ripped now than I was then, even though my cells are not as spring-fresh. Knowledge truly is the trump-card, provided you have the will to implement said knowledge in your daily life.

    Great blog, man. Just found it. Keep up the great work.

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    1. I guess the point of the post was that it seems to be a confidence suck for guys (I'm not going bald, so I don;t know), but I've gone around with a blade zero for the past while and I really do think I'm going to stick with it, whether I end up going bald from now on or not.

      Advantages include:
      Saving money from barbers

      Looking older. A twenty two year old man who shaves his head looks a bit older. 30-35 is the sexual market place sweetspot for a man, so I'm getting more looks from milfy types as well as youngens en aw. But because of not seeing grey, being in shape, it, like in your example works the other way too. A 35 year old man looks longer cause the lassie cant make out the grey. So again, yous are rooted longer in the SMV sweetspot. That's got to be good en aw.

      If you have the height, muscle and look, it makes you look a bit intimidating. Not to sound like mr macho cunt en aw, but no one is going to challenge the Jason Statham lookalike to a fight or give him shit. That's useful in a practical way.

      You wouldn't be up for a transplant yourself? A lot of great posting there ken, excellent comment en aw.

      P.S. That's interesting about it slowing down. You think it is paleo diet related? That it isn't just genetics that are involved?

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    2. I think the slowing-down part was just dumb luck/genetics. Cause I was still boozing, smoking, eating crap when it was slowing.

      I wouldn't get a transplant cause I've never seen one that looked good. If in ten years they are cheap, safe, look fantastic and last forever... then I would probably do it. Just like with Rogaine, I think it would be a mistake not to change my mind with changing evidence. My current mind associates transplants with terrible-looking sad men. But if that were no longer the case, I'd certainly look into it.

      Good points about hovering in the SMV sweetspot for added years. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I think it applies. It's true I have silver hair along my temples, but I had forgotten all about it since I keep it so neat and clean along the sides... weekly upkeep.

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