Saturday, 2 February 2013

I've Got 99 Problems But My Deadlift Ain't One

A month ago, I set it to myself to report in on my gym progress on this very blog. Juicing, a blatant rip off of Jamie Lewis's Aphex Predator Diet, and one day a week where I have stuffed myself with pizza and chipper food, making the Friday Night Toilet my worst fucken enemy, my porcelain arch nemesis. The result, good increases in de deadlift, de Squat and de Bench, I've never gained this fast in my lifting. I've been in the gym every second day en aw, not even one day missed, no procrastination be with de Franco. Used tae be that the gym was a struggle toos git yer hole intae, now I just want to attack those weights. I don't know if all of this is because of the 10-15 servings a day of fruit and veg from juicing, or the extra protein I'm getting in from eating lots of Lidl Cottage Cheese, but my recovery periods are now fucking batshit insane Wolverine level. Fell off my bike and got a bloody cut on my cheek. Three days later, Franco has no scar to make the lassies get de tingles. Arse. No soreness, nothing at all, and I'm fucking pulling in heavy, for my standard anyway, deadlift reps. Nothing has changed in my life, but I'm shitting confidence and in general, I'm in a much more jovial mood. The greatest mistake, I will push this until I croak, that modern medicine continue to makes, is the big emphasis on a brain body dichotomy. Every fucken thing stops at the neck with dese cunts. Healthy fucken body=healthy fucken mind. I'm doing push ups/pull ups with a second hand pull up bar in the gaf alongside all of this, and as a result, I am in by far in the best condition of my life.

One quick thing though. The Ketogenic diet is pretty shite for weight gain. I've been eating about 3000-4000 calories every day, and the bloody fuck, I'm the exact same weight I was, if not less, so if you want toos be SWOLE LIFE, (being a swole is hard bro) I don't think this is for you.

The point of this whole tirade is that, I am absolutely one hundred percent sold on juicing now, have seen enormous benefits from it, and I'm a healthy person subject to diminishing marginal returns in this area of my life. If any of yous meet up with MikeFC/Danger and Play, tell him that there's an Irish student fella named wee Franco who wants to shake the cunts hand and buy him a pint. Major respect mate. A juicer is an excellent investment for the modern day renaissance man. I'll follow this post up later with a few juicer tips, when I get it together. Fucken Seinfeld is on now like, and fucken George is treating his body like an amusement park. And nay wee cunt wants to be like George Costanza do they? Fucker should be juicing like.


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