Monday, 4 February 2013

Juicing for Men
In today's sedentary carb loaded, fructose tainted, triglyceride acculumating, high VLDC codzilla lassies with their manboob licking scalzied twatty boyfriends, to be anything but fat sick and nearly dead these days is a recalcitrant act, the skinny fuck with de healthy diet from an epoch that is now antediluvian, that is now gone, that is drifting, drifting away. How can a cunt survive and prosper, command and conquer with the way the world is?

A good way to go about it is to juice.

Juicing has been around for a while. From the manosphere point of view, it was promoted by MikeCF and since then, the practice of juicing one's vegetables has been growing exponentially. In fact, I could see it as being a promising enterprise for the budding entrepreneur, especially in the land of the SWPL spazo. I'll throw in a few tips and ideas here that might help yous in your juice making goals.

First, this is the juicer I have.

This is the Philips HR158 Juicer. I didn't buy it either which was great so I saved a bit of moolah, me mam basically got it, used it once and once only, and there the poor fellow stayed dormant, next to the sandwich maker which was only used once, biding its time, for its glorious introduction intae Franco's life. Whenever I saw the thing after that, I used to think of that Simpsons "you got all that from one bag of oranges?" joke and left it at that. So, I don't have experience with a wide range of juicers, just this one, so don't ask me what works and what doesnt. It seems to work perfectly fine though, the juices are quality, and the reviews online are good, so me ma made a good choice in the end. The other juicer I sold the playstation3 for stopped working, alas. Still, I got me money back and blew it all! But I got to keep this one (after a bit of work) so it's all good.

So, down to the basics. First, it's actually DIRT cheap to juice. Anyone reading this who is in Europe will know how cheap Lidl and Aldi are. Last week I was able to buy 2kgs of carrots, 6 beets, 3 cucumbers, a bag of onions, celery and a small bag of parsnips for about 6.50. With this amount of vegetables, I can make roughly 4 650 millimeter juices, with a scoop of whey protein and a bit of water on top, and some veggies even left over. Put them into a sports bottle, shake en drake en stir, and you're away like Des Bishop with a pipe bomb in his arse. Usually, I will eat about half a bag of spinach or broccoli head per day with a couple of tomatoes as well with meals, so between that and the juicing, I'm fucken mega dosing on vegetables. 6.50 for 4 big juices = rought 1.60 per juice. Roughly 15 serving of veg a day. Mamma fucken mia, Cut out the fags, one pint a week, the overpriced university coffee, and you're more than making your money back on this thing. It's more than affordable for the average lad and lassie.

So why juice?

Well, that's a really good question and there's a really simple answer to it. There isn't any rocket science behind juicing.Vegetables are not very tasty, and no one has the time to stuff themselves with vegetables. So, you juice, you can get the stuff down quickly and it tastes better. It really is that simple.

Tips for juicing:

1: Make it in bulk: Juicing doesn't take much time to do, but it takes some little bit anyway. You'll save time if you make four/five juices per week and then stick them in the freezer. Corollary: My juicer is noisy as all holy hell and smelly as well, really does stink up de joint and make a faint hearted fat cunt fear for his life. If you are living with someone else, keep the windows open and doing it in bulk means yous won't needlessly piss off your flatmates as much.

2: When you're done clean it immediately: The pulp dries out very quickly. If you get sloppy and don't clean the mother out post haste, you'll have a stickier, messier job on your hands.

3: Juice the less juicy things first: Beet has plenty of juice in it, but it doesn't come out very well, a very viscous liquid. So what you do is juice the beet first, then juice something like a cucumber afterwords and the more liquid juice will carry the beet out with it. Corollary: Be careful with beet, that fucken shite is like nature's viagra. I juiced 3 beets in one juice once and found myself getting random, uncontrollable hardons for the whole day, which had literally nothing to do with seeing a hot lassie, or a pile of dog excrement. This is not fun. I was walking with a slouch for the whole day.

4: If you don't want to freeze it, stick a lemon, citrus fruit in there: This will help you preserve it in the fridge for a lot longer.

5: If you have chickens, feed them the pulp: Hat tip to Hawaiian Libertarian on this one.

6: Get creative with additional ingredients: A raw egg, some spice, whey protein and creatine will work as well, you've got more than fruit and veg to play around with kid.

7: It makes a brilliant pre and post workout drink: Remember the price. 1.60 per juice. Tell me, what are you cunts paying for your Optimal Nutrition gunk?

So, with that, let's get to the benefits.

The main one, about all else is mood. This is the main reason you eat well and take care of your body. Not because you want to be younger for longer, or because you want to live longer. You eat well to give your body good fuel so that you're in a better mood and your brain works better. I've talked about this before in enough detail, moods and food en aw, but the juice takes it to warp drive. Nothing in particular has changed, but thanks to juicing, I'm just in a great fucken upbeat mood a load of the time. Sleeping better, cracking de jokes, and my sex drive...the fat chicks are hotter (:() but the hotter lassies are even hotter and lassier (:)).

Manosphere adherents often go on about the SMP and men peaking in their 30s or whatever. That's not exactly true. You have to put the work in to head into your 30s holding all aces. We can't just sit around looking pretty, we have to do something about it to get up to that high footing on the hill. Having a healthy body is one of the ways you go about it. Thanks to juicing, the Francis Begbie adjusted Apex Predator diet and weightlifting, I'm heading for my 30s and well beyond, lean, healthy, not strong right now, but getting much stronger, happy because my brain is getting good fuel, and vivacious, whereas lads my age are getting the beer bellies, the bitch titties, and are on the meds, all that estrogen and soy polluting their bodies...Don't be one of these soppy cunts. The amount you can get lads, from one bag of oranges...

P.S: Check out Danger's juicing blog, Juicing for Men and Free Northerner's post on juicing.


  1. What were your staple juices while on the Apex Predator Diet?

    I'm guessing you had little to no fruit in there since you'd need to stay Keto.

  2. Nice blog. Actually I feel that having a glass of juice is always easier and tastier then having a Kg of vegetable. You can also use different types of fruit juices and supplements at different days of a week. As I use Noni for Men Formula on sunday to maintain my energy level and avoid stress.

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