Saturday, 23 March 2013

Franco's Armchair: Review of Confessions of an Online Hustler by Matt Forney

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Them cunts. They lied to us, theys did. Here, get this, get this piece of worthless paper you got studying transgender elephant studies and the money wil falow! Get it? Oh, you're not getting a job? But it's menial, soul sucking work? Sorry ye cunt! We all have toos work for a living son. Get used to it.

So you're tired. The Boomers fanny fudged everything up. I get that. We're on the same wavelength hombre. Whats a cunt to do then? What is a cunt to do? Well thank the flying spagetti monster for the internet. Blogging, making a mint, is the oilfields of yesteryear. All those places to strike digital oil, it sounds easy, right ken?

No. No fucken way. Leave the ego at the door ken. Like a lot of yous, I've trudged through the super squeaky clean 4 Hour Work Week and have been, taken in by the whole fact that making moolah this way is as easy as pie. If you want to keep that illusion alive, don't, I repeat, don't read Confessions. Forney is brutally honest straight off the bat. This is where pretty lies perish. Just like Bang by Roosh will dispel the myths of becoming a player by learning a few pick up lines and donning a gay as shit hat, Forney will hammer into your head the pragmatic approach one must take in relation to blogging. It must be a full time effort. It is hard work. It is busting your balls, with fuck all sleep, writing abouts another daft femcunt flaunting herself to the world. Write, write, write motherfucker, and keep doing do, Forney persists on this. Like I said, this book is very sobering. The romantic idea of the writer at the coffee shop putting together his work is torn to shreds here. The most jarring part of the book was Forney's confession that he hated writing. This, as someone like myself, who has been in the blogging game for about 8 months, was quite jarring, to say the least.

So what kind of audience is this book for? Simple. The person starting a blog for the first time, or a wee cunt like myself. And for that purpose, the book does a brilliant job. If you're starting a blog for the first time, this book is literally the equivalent of walking into the gym, never having lifted a weight in your entire life,, yet knowing and able to implement perfect lifting form. You still have to put the work in yourself, but shit me a brick, you still have a huge advantage over most of the people in there, dontcha ken? And for the length and the cost of the thing, it better fucken do that. Confessions does lads, it really does. It will tell you how to gain an audience, keep yourself anonymous (and how to deal with it when shit hits the fan). It will tell you how to construct a website in painstaking detail. It will give you advice on how to be a better writer. It will tell you about advertising, some excellent human psychology about getting big donations, and my favorite part of the book, the tier system, which is extremely intuitive and a great way to structure your blog and what the bloody shit you want to do with it. Basically, tier 3 is an all purpose blog where you write about whatever you feel like. You find out what the audience is into. Your cooking posts getting a lot of hits? Then you upgrade to Tier 2, a blog devoted to cooking. Finally, the moolah generator. The Tier 1 product. Forney recommends a book, due to cost purposes, but it could be any sort of goddamn thing under the sun.

Seriously, it maybe short, but there isn't a single bit of fat in this book. Not a sentence wasted, not a word out of place. It will tell you what you want to know, no more and no less ken.

Enormous credit must go out to Forney for his style of writing as well. It's smart, funny, arrogant, irreverent, iconoclastic, yet this is never at the expense of the book. The material is as well explained as it is going to be, so if you can't grasp what de bloody fuck be going on, that is your problem and your problem alone ken. There are one or two flaws I'll point out quickly there, but they aren't much really. First, on some of Blogger's criticisms. Forney makes a good case for using wordpress, but some of his criticisms of Blogger are incorrect. For example, you can very easily turn off the captcha feature in blogger, and posting comments on other blogs running off of blogger remains quite smooth as a result. As for blogger's censoring policy, this seems to be true, but it shouldn't be the biggest deal. I mean, blogs like Chaos And Pain regularly have pictures of gore and really fucked up porn, alongside quite a bit of politically incorrect stuff, but those blogs are still standing. so it's not like your manosphere blog is going to be taken down willy fucking nilly. Since Forney uses wordpress and is writing from that point of view, there's little to no talk about blogger, so this is never an issue. Finally, while I admire Forney for being honest, it almost feels like he is overcompensating a little bit in places. In otherwords, rather than just make out blogging to be a hard job, which is fine, he (intentionally or not) makes it out to be quite shitty. My question is then, if it is that shitty, then why do it? Why blog in the first place? Shouldn't I just take the piece of crap fast food job instead?

But these are minor quibbles. For the aspiring blogger, Confessions is a brilliant purchase. Think about it. Two hours reading and giving up a couple of pints in the bar, will save you weeks to months of doing stupid shit with your blog. That be a bargain ken. Ultimately, it's an impressive piece of work that fits in nicely with some of the other manosphere literature.

P.S: This is important. For the duration of this weekend (from 6am PST Friday March 22 to 9pm PST Sunday March 24), Forney is selling both paperback and electronic editions for half-off the regular price ($3.99 and $5.99 respectively, versus $7.99 and $11.99). So if you want it cheap, you don't have much more time to do so.

To buy it in paperback, click here.
To buy it from Amazon Kindle, click here.

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