Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Lack of iron, lack of magnesium, call it what you will. Fruitless, fitless, unfulfilled promise of sleep, all this glam racket, mosquito bites covered all over en aw. Shit. Fucken brain won't switch off. Eyes wide open, bottle of water, cup of tae, propped over the computer screen, shitty fucken insomnia ken. Can drive a cunt mad, being inside your head just drives a fiend mad en aw. All of this Snowden business. I think what's ultimately happening right now is a sort of race against time between getting some half decent employment and teh event. But let that be what it is. There is a lot of sadness in the air.
They always fucken accredit it to being male. Not talking out of turn say. That men tend not to talk about their feelings as much as women blah de fucken blah, that we have a fucken culture of machismo, twisted masculinity with stage four metastasis, and gun toting Arnie Schwarz porn, and look, all those people in magazines make D4 girls want to stick fingers down their thoats because gender is a construct don't yous fucken know en aw right?
See, it not be that simple. It is not as simple as just plopping this shit on people's shoulders because not only is it egregious for everyone involved, because it ensures that one dinnae look at the issue in a sound manner, it completely fucken misses the point of what makes up a man's character, personality, genetic makeup, call it what you will. Yeah, males kill themselves because they talk about their feelings less. Of course.
This is dark, sad, fucken atrocious shit we're talking here. 525 people, and the numbers are increasing at a worrying rate when all is said and done. We'll also ignore that data from that highly reliable longitudinal study where they found that 38% of boys are unhappy in Irish schools.
Here is why there is a suicide epidemic in Ireland, horrible, traumatic events aside, as an uncomfortable amount seem to come from people who "seemed so happy" in the months, weeks leading up toos it. First, yous have created a fucken political system where you have three parties which are essentially nothing more than dark mirrors and cigarette smoke. The result is a feeling of distrust, not feeling a part of something greater than yourself. You have created a school environment which is painfully dull for any male with an IQ above room temperature and which has been always geared towards a more female centric form of learning, making the didactic process painfully dull, downright deleterious, a place where the great works of English and Economics and History all are obscured by clouds of pretty lies. Remember childhoods where kids and teenagers actually fucken did shit? Like play and meet lassies and get fucken jobs and get part time work in a chipper or some shit like that? All gone ken. Everyone tunes intae fucken prime time to see zombified cunt Miriam o C waffle on about the evils of taxi drivers without licenses or how the HSE will kill your babies cause the doctors won't bother their arses to wash their hands before surgery. Everyone is scared of each other. Instead of creating stuff, being a man, there's drinking in the field at the quarry on Saturdays. There's smoking weed and jerking off to porn. There's the exponential increase in single families and in the enrollment of children in creches leading to lachrymose bairns, sad shite and an entitlement cultured bolstered by the greatest increase in social welfare spending in the state's history.
So, yous are in this system. Yous are not getting laid. Yous are engaging in a plethora of superficial activities such as getting that fucken achievement on de Xbox or reading shitty, broken literature and you're here, and you're kind of scared, and meanwhile, you've been told all of this shit that women worthy of pussy pedestal level. Meanwhile, yous are getting slagged at school en aw. You're the fat kid, or the one that is too smart or too dumb or whatever. You feel sick and are kind of annoyed that the healthy grain cereal you are shoving down yer gulliver is not doing a damn fucken thing for Teddy McTriple Chin, and all of the doctor's are saying to you "sure, yous are healthy! Depressed? Here's some pills? Franco's cousin gets in a fight at school? Here, have some pills to calm ye down!" Lift weights? Oh no no, you don't want to get jacked cause all them bags of sausage have tiny balls and enlarged hearts from all dat heavy lifting! Fuck dat, marathon time! Get your slippers and fuck up dem knees!
The same nonsense happens around leaving cert. Hey lads, umm, listen, ..no pressure exams are not important in the greater scheme of things, but uhh...see, your parent's generation, they kinda fucked up cause they had this, get this, crazy idea that everyone had to go to university so that piece of paper yous are going to get is going to be worth jack fucken shit because this is just economics 101 and whatnot so if yous don't do de best in de Leaving...yeah, you're in a bit of a bad place ken. But don't you worry hiuc! You'll find yourself in university. Those are the best years of your life! Did you not know about all of that hot university arse yous would be getting in there? And yous are thinking back to all the mentions of wet, wet to de bone Angela's Ashes times and thinking, shit, I would trade all of this in for a sense of identity and community and just to belong somewhere, to maybe not see this country run off the fucking edge because YOU fucken retards ignored people's warnings about interest rates and the Scandanavian model because we're such good little cunts, apeing the wonderful gender neutral utopia are we not? So if you dumb cunts going on about male suicide are wondering why, well, it not be exactly de rocket science is it not?
Look, dere be a shitload of problems with the manosphere, I'll conceit. Women are women, and bad behavior should be subsequently punished I agree, but there's a big bloody grand canyon difference between that and the bitter gamma male ramblings of The Spearhead and A Voice for Men comments. There's a huge difference also between acknowledging objective qualities in races and blaming such and such a race for your own personal failures, going full time with de aul race hating. The stereotype of the angry, depressed male that seems to be floating around would be fitting ken. But this place offers answers. They're not fucken nice answers ok. But reality isn't nice. Deal with it. Men are disposable, women see the world through the work and economic surplus of men. Society, through the invisible hand of The Cathedral, in the hands and wildly exacerbated by the most narcissistic generation history has ever seen (Irish "Baby Boomers" are the same here) is keen on getting you fucked right over ken. In the Irish context, there's smokescreens that deal with useless abolition of de Senead (centralizing power ken) and abortion and whatnot, so no one cares and they'll just vote it in. This is the only place, cleaning up and through the bullshit, where yous will get some sound proper answers. Or, at the very least, realize you're not a complete nutter ken. These are the tools. It's up to yous. No moral high horse stuff here. You've done some shit, you have your demons, so have I. You were a loser? No problem, we'll work on that, so as long as you're willing to get out of that hole, you have my support brother. You need willpower. You will fail a lot. You will make slow progress. You will become increasingly courageous, quite possibly enough to step out? Possibly. Possibly.
This is of course the funniest thing about it all. Supposed tae talk about de feelings en aw. Those are the feelings. That be my fucken failings.Now, how the fuck do I go about getting out of this trainwreak?
Yeah, I thought so.