Sunday, 29 September 2013

The Terror

Acting as a sort of modern day panopticion, instilled in all of us, the values of de tabula rasa, a cunt is being looked over perpetually, watched, prodded, cross examined, shouted at, whispered to, falling asleep, twisting, turning, churning phantasmagoria where in yous head, the cunt is king queen and the motherfucking ace of spades all rolled into one.

The fucken McCarthy fuckos had nothing on this shite ken. The most evil thing a man can do, as he spits his lines and backs down like a cowardly, cuntish cat, is be a racist. Rotund bespectacled bloodhounds, pimply bum lassies with a penchant for passive aggressive arguments, scapegoats the shite out of the lad who is not so politically correct en aw. Say the word faggot, eh sure, that means you like bumming poolboys on Fridays, or at least yous want to oh so badly ken. Say something about the differences in biology and the downsides that come with diversity, and yous are even worse than Hitler and Josef Fritzel having an orgy in a daycare centre. So a cunt has toos keep a low profile else hes be snapped up. He looks around and sees the enormous power the LGBT community group has in the area, victims me fucken arse ken. He sees pin ups for progressivism, poster boys for white night, skinny fat girly men, men which implicitly make the lad and lassie sick to the gills. Fuck it. It only takes one sniff of blood to gets the sharks after yous and that be it, a cunt be toast en aw.

It's been about two years since I stumbled across this side of the sphere. It wasn't the enormous shock that it was for some lads, bar your obligatory "why the fuck are these cunts wrong about everything" kind of carryon, (bizarrely, I remember overhearing my folks talking about how little Franco was "unusually cold and *shudder* very right wing, lol, and this was when I was about 14 or so), which brings me into my next point. If any of you cunts are familiar with anonymous conservative and his arguments about the amygdala and the genetic predisposition for certain schools of thought, yous will know wheres I'm going. Essentially, wes are all looking into the rabbit hole with perfect vision. What I mean by that is as follows: essentially the people who are going to be in power in the future, the millenials, are going to be in a worse position than a perfidious spinster on the wrong side of 30. Reactionaries have often talked about the leftist singularity, and how precisely it operates.

Well, here's how.

There is a natural predilection towards usurping your elders, being idealistic, creating the new world, any cliche or run of the mill story a lad can come up with. Leftism has done the bizarre thing of being both the ruling power in charge, and has sold itself as being the underdogs, the victims in the whole thing. Thus, we have a bizarre situation where liberalism is mistakenly identified for conservatism, and as as result there is a gradual slide to the left, even though, it was leftism which caused the problems in the first place. Cue more campaigning for LGBT, more closing of the wage gap between who and whoever, and a sick, turning inside out of values we once love so much. So, racism is now racism+ and so forth and so forth. The bitchfest will keep going as long as men are willing to keep paying into the system.

It makes me sad to see this. I spend some time wallowing, drifting nonchalantly through fat, obnoxious, pugnacious hurling fans as scoops are thrown back, raised to Davy Fitz, and the sense of camaraderie, well, call it more like a weak kind of tolerance, dressed up as sanguine smiles and smiley scoops, enjoying yerself, eh, grand so, fuck of toos Diceys and see how tight your game is. The family has been spread thin, cousins, lassies, my cousins, parents sliding gently into oblivion, theys are knocking at catsville and they have it all, they are drugged up and fuming and raging, and all twisted nostrils and depression meds and such.

I want out. I'm fed up. I'm sick of petty little debates on Seanads and how the problems of this social group and that are all I should care about. Why bother? Your solutions will just make things worse anyways. Yous will be more to the left in five years time. Yous will yell at the republicans for dropping babies on their heads, about privilege. Yous will never be able to get that monkey off of your back. Friends, love, these things matter, but outside that, the country is pandemonium, a cuckoo clock with schizophrenia, lowest common denominator where the values converge on some boundary point= [MISERY]. I'm planning to escape, do a Keyser Soze. Where exactly, I don't know. But if things go to shite, yous will never see me again, but maybe so, in some community with a lassie in one hand, no photos please, and a shower of good pints, good mates, stepping back, taking in the air, and realizing that Ireland is well and truly fucked sideways, finished, end, done, kaput, game over, try again at the next go, and that these be grim times en aw, but if it wasn't us, it's the skinny fat wanker with the moustache who is a pansexual, so it's probably better that it works out this way, don't you think?

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Right Wing is Reality and Some Musings on De University System

Been a busy time for this cunt. Simply put, maths is fucken hard ken. Ten page proofs of one and one equaling two are about as funny as being cuckolded by that mad fucken cunt Nordberg, don't recommend a lad does it, to be honest, but hey, maybe the moolah is good. Especially when all the lads around yous are all aspergery fucktards with heads the size of tractor engines. The kind of lads who will, if yous go up tae them and ask do yous have any spare coinage for the fruity machine, dese lads will say DELTA and your soul dies a little, cause these cunts see fucken math equations pouring out of de wall all the time, real matrix shite. Does a cunt dream of open sets?

But anyways.

I have a theory, and it's probably not very good or profound but wes will stick it out there anyway. The theory, well, the idea, is based on one very simple axiom:

Right wing is reality.

Corollary to this:

Because right wing is reality, and because humans are subject to certain biological realities and laws of physics, to deviate from this would mean chaos and all sorts of nutty shite that would drive a cunt mad. So, within every left wing truth or concept, there is a component of that belief/ideology that must be intrinsically right wing, otherwise the system would collapse in on itself.

The clearest example is the one of the college cult.

Intelligence tests. All of your lovely Boomer parents haranguing on about "finding yourself" and "learning how to think". In reality, the college cult works like this:

Economic forces/intervention in the economy has led to corporatism. This subsequently leads to red tape regulation, and paying 100 euro to get a license to set up a fucken lemonade stand. This leads to oligopolies . Then, the oligopoly and a fusion of leftism happens and we get a bastard spawn of a thing. Why? Because intelligence tests are a pretty good proxy of abilities of people and future outcomes, especially in a big enough sample, and because all the pretty lies perish when the data is collected, they are not allowed. Not to mention that if yous are selling something to some person, yous don't want to be the evil, fascist, neo nazi cuntos. Nah, you want to be the smiley, fuzzy giving motherfucker with all of the answers swinging out of his back pocket, with diversity days and group picnics and happy hours in shitty, inauthentic tourist-ed Irish pubbage. So, you can't use intelligence tests you racist bigot privo bastard. What do you use next?

The university degree.

The problem with this though, is that universities and the education system are woefully, hilariously, buttfuckingly inefficient. Yous cunts will even find this with lads in the STEM degrees of all things. Suffice to say, there are an awful lot of computer science majors out there who will tell you that theys could be doing their job with about three months of their training. The university complex is creating an enormous number of inefficiencies across the society and are going to be felt like de hangover from hell in the next while, and are going to hit, very very soon. I'll list off a couple of them there while I be at it. Nonchalant lad that I be.

-A regulated system like this leads to an extended childhood of sorts where the parents have to fork out more cash to keep the whole ugly charade going. Cue a population that holds ratty, puerile beliefs and is scared, malleable, weak, inventing their own twisted soliloquy of theory, resting on dead lies and wispy currents. Taking a Gaussian distribution, men who have a predilection for gamma behaviour or are on the borderline, but whos are otherwise fine, these guys, these fucking guys, are shoved into social dysfunction and personality disorders, and of course, hilarity ensues. The beast is creating an army of McRapeys. Your elites never stepped out onto the street ken and that is the problem.

-Women being attracted to the boss man in question. Women go to university to meet men. Cue a sick, bastardized system for women where they have to go to university to meet good men, but are drawn into an environment where every "hypergamous" (nerd word!) impulse is fulfilled. The lassie is miserable, because there are two fucking ghosts, knocking at both the front and back door and these cunts, they never ever fuck right off do they ken? Thus, because of smaller tails in men when it comes to intelligence, and wanting to stay away from the maths, women stay in the system longer than they should. This results in using up their hottest, most sexually attractive years. Cue a decline in fertility. This happens to men to an extent as well. Nassim Taleb has talked about the antifragility of economic systems in relation to start up businesses. Universities kill entrepreneurship ken. Economy moves from antifragility to fragility over due course.

-Men work best in a hierarchical framework, not in a "let's all eat after eights and read Margaret Atwood" manner. Universities are a perfect example of the latter. This leads to a feeling of being "held down" so to speak. Being siphoned through a tube, is, for a man, not a pleasant place to be.

This is why the internet is such a great thing. Despite my rant there about I.Q and whatnot, maths is nowhere near as difficult as people think it is. Take a look at a maths textbook. Then, go on Khan Academy and listen to your man explain it to yous. That is why the university system is going to keep going for the foreseeable future, because it is acting as an inverted, woefully inefficient measure of intelligence. Was going to write more on this, but I'm hungover as shite and am going to get sick intae a toilet so bye.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

The Idiot

If there was ever a case for da middle fingers up, tae society and the state, the compendium of institutes that act as middleman between the government and the lad on de street, not giving a rats ass about yous (yet yous are expected to pick up the tab because cunts get smashed,) then it is not to be found in the dusty pages of an Austrian economist long forgotten, or a dead french enlightenment cunt pushing up daisies for nigh on half a millennium. It is toos be found in the ramblings of the dipshit with the dunce cap. It is toos be found with the idiot., the guy with more bitches than de dog hound.

He be from my old school see. He used tae be in my year, and was the kind of cunt who used to have this real, yeah fuck man, pathological obsession with Rihanna, apparently from a friend I know, this cunt used to have fucken Rihanna pictures plastered all over de room. He hated me cause I used to make Chris Brown jokes, but in reality, Franco was jealous. There's even a tattoo on his shoulderblade of her, funny no? No chance of ending up in her bathroom taking pictures of toilet? Oh, interesting story. This cunt is crazy, like marbles fucked out a skyscraper window crazy. He gots a fucken tattoo toos avoid a drug test applying for some shitarse job, and got one of a fucken Care Bear. On his dick. So everytime a lassie goes down tae give him head, there's a fucken children's teddy bear smiling at her. The bear's nose ends and begins at the tip ken. Fucken Archer has nothing on this guy man. And the lassies are all going up to him wondering about the fucken care bear tattoo on his fucken dick, and they're all interested with the shit tests and such, and this lad goes "would you like to play with my teddy bear?" and fucken pulls it off like mad. Like this guy, he couldn't even differentiate x3 back in school at 18 years old.  Game recognized. I mean, I've got to the stage where I can talk to lassies without doing stupid things, body language, texting etc, which puts you right to the bell curve, but I'm not particularly charming or whatever.

And he's the happiest guy in the world, and fair fucks to him, when all is said and done.

I flick through some of his old facebook posts. I spot a picture with is arms around a hot eight out of ten blonde with the biggest puppies hanging out. There's another one, ah jaesus, this one needs to be fucken framed and put on a wall. He's got two smoken lassies tounging each other, and he's there with a shite eating grin on his face, the thumbs up tae here with him. That smile man. It is a true smile. It is a powerful smile. The thousand yard stare of the gamma male that you sees doing computer science programs. This guy, he has one hell of a smile ken. It just blows me away. It is like the physical manifestation of pure, unadulterated joy ken, something that is lost to the lad and lassie these days. A crying shame is it not?

He's not working right now. He doesn't intend to either apparently. Yeah man. Go on there. Be an accountant. Be an engineer. Be a welder. Be that good little cog in the machine ken so you can provide for everyone else. But you won't be happy. You won't be happy in your office job with your stata and your eviews. This guy, I've been calling him an idiot all this time, but he's not really. He be smarter than me ken. I'm the one with all the fucken matlab textbooks and the ridiculous library hours studying shite where he's been doing lassies up de bum. I mean, this guy man! He's pulling lassies that are top of de pops, he's going on fucken holidays tae Spain and with de lads and de cans and the footy, posting pictures of can pyramids and there's fifty shades of lassie, vaginas in synch, they want this cunt badly. Damn man!

I'm not posting this because I wants tae be this uber cool recalcitrant motherfucker who laughs at the schmoe who works at the box factory. I'm posting this because this has too be drummed intae your head, and mine too. Society doesn't care about you. Or rather, it does albeit implicitly, but keep in mind, any economic surplus that you generate is not going to be fairly compensated. And this is not some labor theory of value bullshit. Pussy leads, men follow, simple ken. If the reward for being a sound, solid member of society is being taxed out the wazoo, and having toos settle with an older lassie who has gone down the yellow brick road with Billy the Biker Boy, while the idiot here is fucken 8s like mad, then don't be a solid, sound member of society. Be more like him man. Get a smurf tattoo on your dick.

Aaron Clarey says enjoy the decline. Me? I've seen the numbers, the statistics, Paul Krugman thinking he's the living incarnation of that cunt from the Foundation novels. But that shite is boring man. IQ, the g factor? Aspie cunts, most people dinnae give two shites about any of it. That's why we have stories and metaphor and simile. There's one thing to read the numbers. There's another to see the idiot plastered all over the facebook, with the hottest lassie in class, and realize that all your fruits, well ok, most of them, are going to go up in smoke. I used to be angry and bitter about this. These days, I just want to enjoy the decline. So be more like him.

We have the power and the money men. It's just that bloody pussy part, and all that man. Fucken dipshit Tony Montana sold me a creamy dogturd of a lie and he's paying for it in bullets.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Franco's Armchair: Review of Life During Peacetime by Matt Forney
In this lad's opinion,  how much you get out of this e-book comes down to pretty much one thing, one factor, and without it, Life During Peacetime is an interesting, well written, but non essential short story. Toos put it simply, if you want to know if you like it or not, I'm going to ask yous one question and one question only:

Do you enjoy the blog Delicious Tacos? 

If your answer is yes, then Life During Peacetime is a funny as fuck short story that reads very much like an extended Delicious Tacos post, both in terms of style of writing and insight; in other words, right up your field of vision ken for anyone kicking around this side of the sphere, and well worth the moolah.

And like Delicious Tacos, a lot of the book comes down to humor, and what kind of a disposition yous has, what yous yourself find funny. In order to describe what I mean by this, I'm going to turn to comedy shows, mainly, the difference between British and American comedy. Americian comedy is quite gag based, built on absurdity, silly bullshit, inverted norms and goofy caricatures, laughter tracks and punchlines a dozen. But British comedy ken, is a different kettle of fish altogether. British comedy is darker, warped as fuck, taboo breaking, rather than silly, goofy scripted material. The UK Office, humor built on a dark, banausic the point of tedium, miserable existence, or social ostracism, or something like Chris Morris, Brass Eye, all dark, weird, sick fucked up shite, but incredibly awkward and incredibly funny all the same.

This is in Franco's opinion, the best kind of comedy ken. Despite what cunts like Lindy West think, rape jokes, taboo jokes in general help people process and deal with many of the bad crap going on in the world, in a positive way, just laugh it off en aw, which makes it better ken en aw. Moreso, because it's real and palpable.But that's just my opinion. Basically, if yous prefer Peep Show or Curb Your Enthusiasm to Seinfeld, or Brass Eye to The Daily Show, that kind of dark, awkward, taboo humor, yous are going to really dig this book, because LDP is full of it, but without being tryhard or over the top. It strikes a good balance.

In terms of story, it's fairly simple and to clarify, it isn't fiction either, mebad if I didn't make that clearer earlier. Matt Forney, due to the popularity of the blog, has got himself a groupie, a teenage lassie. And the groupie, well, she's a colorful lassie to be around to say the least. They go to concerts, pick up a hitchhiker and then head their separate ways. Cue some hilarious and awkward moments, one memorable scene in particular involving cat shite, and nightmares of being stabbed by nutjob lassies, also pretty good highlights. It's well written for the most part, humor is done by contrasting Matt's actual thoughts with his actions, the former italicized, the dialogue is good too, and in no way stilted or unnatural. 

Then we have the climax of the book and things take a turn.

The climax might lose a few cunts here, or perhaps not, it's probably the most polarizing thing about this book truth be told. It is either going to piss yous off, and going to make a bunch of cunts go on a "fucken slutbag cunts, state of the western lassie where is me polish lassie waaah" rant and fuck right off and do a Mark Minter, or if yous are like me, a fucko with quite de sick sense of humor, you are really going to dig the ending, which is hinted at cleverly at the start, but when it is revealed, christ on a bike ken, it's simultaneously horrifying, and laugh out loud side splitting stuff. A cunt might actually learn something about himself as well, nature of de lassie and all that shite. Alpha fucks en beta bucks ken, if there ever was a moment such.

So flaws? Yeah, one or two ken. It's got a couple of sex scenes in it which don't come across as well as the rest of the book. Sex scenes are hard to write without falling intae little miss prudent shit, or fifty shades of grey, and Forney doesn't quite succeed here. They're by far the worst parts of the story, but thankfully don't last very long and are a small enough part of the book that you can glance over. Like I already said, the dialogue and some surreal moments is where this book peaks. Also, to be a nitpicky cunt, that cover art sucks arse ken. But overall, this is an enjoyable, pitch black short story that is a refreshing change from all the man booker bozos doing the rounds.

You can buy the book on Amazon here. $1.99 is all it will cost yous ken. Forney will be publishing Life During Peacetime in a series of blogposts from Tuesday 3rd September to Monday 9th September. To see a review of Confessions of an Online Hustler, click here.