Saturday, 12 October 2013

Fat Girls and The Decline of Western Civilization (In Honor of Fat Shaming Week)

Now, it be true that many a cunt here loves to make fun of de Sally Sausage, voluptuous, rotund, big boned lassies with a bone to pick, especially with the whole thin privilege thing going on, but at the heart of darkness, beneath the pounds of cheesy poof flab, fat chicks, well, toos put it bluntly, they are doing enormous damage to everything around them. Sure, it be all happy days to see the fatties slip on banana skins, but at the heart of it, the exponential decline of de West has a lot to do with fat apes and, well, dysgenic practices, toos say the least. Let's start with it, shall we? Plus, it be fat shaming week, arguably the coolest, most fun holiday since love day, so a cunt has to write something, no?

First, we have good old biology. Consider the lobster: fat fucken cunts of women give birth to fat fucken cunts of children. Fat children tend to be unhealthier, more prone to depression, probability wise more likely to get a Jackie Chan fuck off disease, and of course, dumber, 5 to 10 IQ points lower. That not be good ken. Using a bit of rudimentary mathematics, a cunt can come to the conclusion that a drop in intelligence may continue in the near future, and will catch up on a cunt quicker than you might think. This of course, leads to a bastardized, sloppy Idiocracy, where people chug a chicken to Ow My Balls, while, lackadaisical, lumpy children in yellow piping jumpsuits eat frosty frosts for breakfast and everyone's looking at each other through dim, ugly lenses, university educations where advanced maths courses dinnae teach that fucken group theory shite anymore. Jesus wept ken. 

Next, we have the relations between the sexes. Economics 101: Supply and demand graph. Once upon a time, skinny lassies were as common as muck, and lad one lines up with lassie one, and all be well. Now, obesity has skewed the ranks, and what was once a garden variety six is now a cherished, pussy on a greek pedestal. This comes with it a plethora of problems. When every lassie is a landwhale, yous have a lot of thirsty lads. This in turn leads to a decline in quality, robust male friendships as every lad fights it out for table scraps and passable, on the wall lassies who landed themselves a herby twat of a boyfriend. Hot lassies get more attention, this leads to higher bitch shields. The male psyche is damaged as well. Yous all know it of course. The lad with the whale. The sad, defeated look on his face as the waddling walrus with the short haircut yells at him for ordering the wrong drink at the bar. Sad, so sad.

The male sex drive meanwhile, inhibited by declining testosterone levels and aesthetically unappealing lassies, will drown in pornography. There will be an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction, HOCD, and other, sad, twisted, sick behavior. This is going to be so much fun ken!  If I was a betting man, the viagra industry is going to boom in the next decade or so. Finally, we have game, and all that neg shite that comes with it. If The Futurist is correct that only about 20 percent of men in terms of intelligence have the ability to grasp and use game, and these are the guys you need for trades/STEM shit, an economy that functions properly and all that, then what do yous think they are going to do when the doors are blown open on this fellow?

Yous might laugh, but things like Fat Shaming are not just "fucken fat chicks" stuff. It's absolutely essential that fatties are shamed, ridiculed, mocked, abhorred and despised, laughed out of town, scurrying  out, hams of legs, drenched in sweat and smelly pants. And before some shrieking Skrillex harpass femcunt comes in with what about men, well a couple of answers. First, the health of a baby depends more on the mother than the father. Second, men like looks, women, not to the same degree. Even fat men should be shamed, believe it or not. But of course, everyone is a victim. Everyone is a walking mistake. Everyone is a martyr these days. I wasn't born with an IQ of 140 looking like Brad Pitt! Waaahhhhhhhh. Shut up king kong cunt.

How can we shame fat people, a lad might ask? Well, that be an interesting one. I guess wes can do stuff like promote a paleoish way of eating, for one thing. Or, wes can go full blown Al Bundy on their gargantuan hides, whether it be the lassies themselves, or the men, well, theys be masquerading as men anyway, who dumpster dive, feeding the ego, feeding the hamster ken.

If yous are a feminine, girly lassie, then congrats, yous be helping de civilization and deserve a pat on the bum. Because despite my problems with it, I kind of like, you know, not having to fend for my life every fucken day, thank yous very much.

Happy Fat Shaming Week ken! Celebrate it! Ask a fattie when's the baby due! Then get the .7 hourglass lassie, smile, laugh, and throw sticks of butter like a good cunt should!


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