Sunday, 17 November 2013

The Weird Wonderful and Frightening World of the Ego

Ack, the lad goes as he reads yet another post of de beguiling Well Hung Franco on probability and variance and armchair psychology, and all that be gravy en aw, as he wants to see a post aboot some "Minecraft pin dicked cunty" lad masquerading as some head honcho alpha bollocks, riding some lassie in a nightclub toilet in a shitty pub on Dublin's north side. Well, no, this post is not purely to do with probability and variance, it has a bit of content that relates to the ego and how a cunt moves through de life en aw while knowing where to step and not get the legs blown off by big fuck off landmines.

In a previous post, I've talked about how a lad can build up a Russian doll of an ego, wrapped up in something toxic, something deleterious, as in my case, it was trying to come across as looking intelligent, rather than trying to be the best person I can be, to not build that house on sand. Take a look out for this elsewhere as well.

I fail at life because I'm living in a racist society and people hate blacks, not because I'm failing as a person and am just an unlikeable cunt.

The patriarchy is keeping me down, white men are privileged and they are so shallow! It's not my fault I got so fat!

I fail with women over and over, but these poor lassies are troubled and don't know what they're doing! I'm so nice and I will get the soulmate I deserve!

Those engineers who are earning good money are miserable cause they did maths whereas I know about life and people cause of my English degree! Isn't working in Starbucks great?

This goes on and on and on and on.

In my opinion, this mindset is arguably the most damaging for the cunt or cuntess. It gets in the way of true personal development, being the best man or the best woman you can be, and the worst thing about it is that this toxic form of thinking permeates all aspects of culture and society! Recently, I was watching Glee with a few beers in me, and get this roysh, this fucken lassie who looks like MC Flashhammer is fucken rejecting this guy, this guy who is like underwear man on billboards level in terms of looks, because she has the fucken options! You go fatty fatty munch munch lassie! Everywhere a cunt looks, we are all victims! We are all losers and are meant to just sit down and take it, laugh smile, make excuses and continue on. You may think you are impervious, but when the volatility of everyday life fucks you over, when excuses pile up and up until your soul looks like a game of Jenga, that be when shite hits the fan and yous are out on your backside, kicking, screaming, gucci little fake eye.

I think there are three stages to properly getting out of this emotional rut, and this applies to something like, yeah, fucken approaching lassies as well.

1: Read The Rawness. I cannot stress this guy's blog enough. Along with pre 2009 Roissy, Moldbug, Nassim Taleb and Nietzsche, the guy has really changed the way de Franco thinks about things, tenacious cunt that he is. Try and realize what is going on with your inner makeup.

2: If you can identify what is going on, that is quite simply not good enough. You have to experience it as well. For example, you can be the fattest, smelliest, pig faced cunt in all of the world, and you might be cognizant of your sexual market value, the only lassie that wants in your pants be the ones of the pyknic, less than aesthetically pleasing variety, and you might not necessarily have any ego delusions about yourself, but you don't feel it. When you go to a nightclub, get shot down by a lassie in the most horrible way, then you feel it. Then the darkness sets in. Then you realize you might be a lot closer to the left of the bell curve than at first glance.

3: This is the most interesting stage and the one I am really, well and truly struggling with, but it is the stage of what makes a man out of a monkey, as the world plays the smallest kit imaginable.

Think about it this way.

Where did your greatest successes come from? When the sausage suit cunt lifts weights in the gym, how many hours of eating well, injuries and discipline did he give up? When the player walks in with the hot Russian bird, how many rejections has he had to put up with? When the mathematician is going all A Beautiful Mind on your ass, how many hours of pure tedium did he put up with trying to learn what difference equations were, while all his friends were out drinking?

Suffering is winning and winning is suffering.

That is why stage three is quite painful, and it is hard to get out of. Not only have you realized you have failed in such a way and all your delusions are gone, you will have to suffer even more to achieve your goals. It's all too easy to fall back into your ego trap of "they are all smarter than me!" or "well, he's good looking!" but that means you take things as they come, you drift along, you temporize, every station in life you move through without making any movement and then yous be on your ass, withered and shit, dreaming of Lily Long Legs and the fact that you never even gave her a smile, no?

It is what it is. All the stages are important. You need to recognize the problem. You need to feel the problem by removing all forms of blinkers. You then need to realize that there is a harsh, austere landscape to traverse and you need will and strength to make it across. For example, even though I've talked about the ego in terms of intelligence before, I fucked up big time in the past two months or so. I accepted a place on a masters university program and ended up making all these excuses for myself to make up for the difficulty in the material. So, upon engaging with the course material, I kept saying to myself "I was the dumbest and worst prepared in the class" (which is somewhat true but still no excuse for being a lackadaisical titbird)  and "I'm not going to work because if I fail, at least I can say it was due to lack of work!". The result is that I'm in danger of flunking the whole course, because I've been scared of putting work in, of plowing through the work, of challenging my ego and quite possibly come to the conclusion I might not be bright enough, pure and simple for the course.

At least if I wasn't intelligent enough for it, yet I worked hard, as unpleasant as it is and failed, I would know my limits in a certain area of life, and try and make it up, bounce back elsewhere, which in the long run would be far more emotionally healthy for a cunt. This is what I mean by feeling it, and as a result, I've been approaching the last while in a whole new different mindset, the next few weeks will be furious ken. It's simultaneously frightening and exhilarating, to realize that this is all on you and there be no safety net behind it all to catch the floundering cunt. The question is, how antifragile can one's ego possibly be?

Here's the thing with losers in this lad's opinion. A loser is not someone who fucks up in life per sae. A loser is someone who fucks up, and then refuses to look at the reason why he fucked up. This is why yous should take pity on de feminist lassie. A giant list of excuses, a tick de box lists of excuses, to hide the monster inside, to ultimately realize that achieving is suffering and suffering is achieving and that be that and yous be on your owns there. 

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