Thursday, 15 May 2014

How to Study for Exams: Part One

So it’s a nice April day with the aul sun splitting the stones. The lassies are out in nice dresses, the fatties look like flaky hot dogs, and yous are sitting down, ah the results, sure be no bother, clickey click, get ready to go to a nightclub and fail with some lassiebum.

Then you realize you failed 80 percent of your exams and you’ve fallen into the academic slurry tank, the land of arseholes in fishnets who pretend to feel sympathy for a cunt, but in fact have internal somersaults of BE DOING BETTER THAN DAT CUNT, cause they define themselves not internally, but through external objects, just has having a degree from Trinity university goys.So, two weeks of brutal study and I passed everything. This was not because I be a smart cunt, this is because I completely changed my approach to studying a topic. This is going to be in two parts. Part one is the practical shite that a lad be needing. Part two is the psychological stuff, which is just as important, but enough about that. This I read in one of Roosh’s recent posts, so I’m combining this with some of my own stuff.

First of all, you want to break up study into two main parts, the study part and the break part.
You will study for one hour at a time, no longer and no shorter. Any longer and your brain gets fried. Any shorter and yous don’t get that much done, and it becomes harder to study because your brain doesn’t have much of an objective. When you say to yourself, “an hour, no matter what” your brain will force on for that hour. This is crucial. Even if you’re trying to figure out a complex maths problem and just about figure it out with half a minute to go and will need another five minutes of work, do not study anymore. Once the hour mark is done, get up and then you’re on a break for 15 minutes. For these 15 minutes, you will not go on the computer. You will not listen to music. You will not talk to your mates. You will get out the door and you will walk briskly for 15 minutes. The point of this is threefold. First, your brain is getting cleared up, a zap of energy from the exercise/not concentrating on the work. Second, your brain is subconsciously working through material so if you were on that maths problem on minute 59, there’s a great chance you will figure it out as you check out the lass with the hot ass in class. Third, walking is interesting enough that it’s a good break from study, but at the same time it’s boring enough that you’re less likely to go on massive 50 minute walks, like say watching an episode of Breaking Bad for example.

Next, despite how tempted you might be, stay away from energy drinks and coffee. The stuff works brilliantly for a short period of time, but then the shit hits you and then a cunt is in zombieland, staring madly at the book en aw with not even a fucking word going in. Drink water and nothing but water. Water will not give yous a caffeine buzz, but it will keep you consistently awake, focused for a long duration of time. Food and exercise tends to be a bit different. If you have time, then you should be eating a paleoish diet/lifting weights and running, but if you don’t have the time, temporarily, drop all of it like a ton of bricks ken. In terms of food, stay away from fast food, heavy Chinese food, noodles, etc. Go for rice, bread rolls, salads, packs of chicken, tuna in brine, that kind of thing ken. 

Third, don’t just look blankly at the book. Write everything down. Summarize material. Go through the problem by yourself with a pencil and a bit of paper. It may be slow, but it will get yous pretty far in the end like. Another tip is to be twisty. Reverse engineer questions is what lectures like to do. Something goes up from your derivation of a second order difference equation. What if that shit goes down? This question wasn’t asked to yous, but lecturers like to ask the down part, and if you practise that part of the question, then it’s all jelly donuts from there on in. 

Fourth, some of them university textbooks cost more money than de crack cocaine. Go to lib.freescience and get yourself a free pdf shelf of books. University, even in STEM/Matsie fields, can be a scam and a half. Fuck these lads. It also saves yous the bollocks of picking up books and tossing them around the place and library bullshit and whatnot. 

Think a cunt will stop there for nowt.


  1. Another good study habit - actually pay attention during class and take notes then. Saves one so much time.

    I've been on both sides of the fence with regards to that - sleeping during class and staying awake and writing shit down.

    It always works better and less stressful when you pay attention and write shit down.


  2. Rewriting things helps immensely. In pencil is better than typing, but typing is better than reading.

    Writing a review sheet forces you to think of how to most efficiently categorize concepts within each other and thus spend less brain space in remembering them. The simpler the categories are, the more you can relate them to what you actually care about in life or how you normally think, again spending less brain space.

    The other thing about "one hour, not a minute longer" is just a good habit in general. While setting margins and having free time to distribute around is also good, the set time makes you more efficient with your time since it's clear what the scope of studying is, makes you actually do something and thus easier to do more things, and reinforces confidence in your own decisions since you see you are following your own word.

  3. Great advice. A person needs to be calm and happy, only then he can give his focus on his subjects more effectively. Exams should never be thought as something scary, instead it should be considered as an opportunity to score good marks and prove yourself to the world that you deserve something great in your life.

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